★ WELCOME TO HARRISON'S CORNER OF THE INTERNET ★    HE HAS A MOTORCYCLE. YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT IT.    ☣ AIR QUALITY: DETERIORATING ☣    NO MEAT SINCE HE STARTED MENTIONING IT    NOW PLAYING: MEAT IS MURDER — SHOOT THE MEAT, RIDE THE BIKE, BUY A BIGGER GUN    🏍 🌱 ☣ 🔧    ASK HIM WHERE HE GETS HIS PROTEIN. GO ON. ASK HIM.    PLEASE SIGN THE GUESTBOOK    ~ best viewed at 1024x768 with a window open ~
Visitors
····
Meat eaten
0.00 kg
Air quality
HAZARDOUS
Bikes owned
1
Times mentioned
∞
UNDER CONSTRUCTION

» THE MAP «

☣ AIR QUALITY ☣

» THE ODOMETER «

» IN THE GARAGE «

» PAINT JOB «

» LETTERING «

🏍 MEAT IS MURDER — the game 🧟

» ABOUT HARRISON «

This is Harrison. He rides a motorcycle and he does not eat meat, and you will learn both of these things within eleven minutes of meeting him.

THE MOTORCYCLE

Yes, he has one. Yes, it is loud. Yes, he will explain the difference between his bike and the bike you are thinking of. No, you may not ride it, and also you did not ask.

He is, to be fair, a genuinely careful rider, which is the single least interesting thing about owning a motorcycle and therefore the thing he mentions least.

THE MEAT SITUATION

Harrison has not eaten meat in some time. The exact figure is available on request, and also not on request. He is fine. He gets plenty of protein. He would like to tell you where from.

Ethically: correct, obviously. Socially: he has been known to describe a bean.

THE OTHER THING

A diet built on legumes has consequences, and Harrison's have a postcode. Rooms have been cleared. A dog once left. There is a working theory that the motorcycle exists so that he can be outdoors, in a helmet, travelling away from the scene at speed.

This website has a gauge for it. See the left column. It is not calibrated, because nothing is calibrated that high.

In summary: good man, terrible air, nice bike, no meat. Sign the guestbook.

📷 PHOTOS OF HARRISON

🌱 IS IT MEAT? — sixty seconds

☣ DUTCH OVEN — a game of nerve

» THE WALL — everybody paints «

✍ SIGN THE GUESTBOOK

Harrison reads these before they go up, so keep it roughly printable. Insults about the smell are expected and permitted.

Loading the book…

📢 THE SHOUTBOX

» THE GARAGE «

» THE DIET «

» THE EXCUSE «

» HAVE YOUR SAY «

» PATCHES «

» THE RULES «

Posted on the garage wall. Not negotiable.

  1. Do not ask if he misses bacon.
  2. He does not miss bacon.
  3. Do not ask where he gets his protein unless you have twenty minutes.
  4. The window stays open. All year. This is not a discussion.
  5. It is a motorcycle, not a moped, and he will show you the difference on his phone.
  6. Nobody sits downwind. Nobody has ever sat downwind twice.
  7. If he says “that was the chair”, it was not the chair.

» THE SMALL PRINT «

This site is a joke made by a friend. Harrison did not approve any of it and cannot be reached for comment, as he is out on the bike.

No meat was consumed in the making of this website. A great deal of air was.

Warning: contains one (1) motorcycle, several legumes, and a gauge that only goes one way.